Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?
by Merle Charton
Summary: Who Wants To Be A Millionaire HP-style! YAY! R&R please ^_^
1. Intro

Disclaimer: I own nothing except Merle. I don't even own the idea. My friend came up with it.  
  
A/N: For the reason above, this fic is dedicated to Eira Chikaeru. Thanks, Eira ^_^  
  
Merle: Hello and welcome to the popular Wizarding game show Who Wants to Be A Millionaire! I'm your host, Merle Charton. Let's meet our contestants! ::turns to the ten contestant panels::  
  
~a camera is shown pointing at the first contestant~  
  
Merle: Harry Potter from London, England!  
  
~Harry waves, smiles, and the camera turns~  
  
Merle: Hermione Granger from—oh, screw it, they're all from London.  
  
~Hermione smiles and the camera turns~  
  
Merle: Ginny Weasley!  
  
~Ginny smiles and the camera turns~  
  
Merle: Drago-  
  
Draco: Draco. Not Drago.  
  
Merle: Er, sorry. Draco Malfoy!  
  
~Draco smirks and the camera turns~  
  
Merle: Remus Lupin!  
  
~Remus smiles, waves, and the camera turns~  
  
Merle: Minerva McGonagall!  
  
~Minerva smiles and the camera turns~  
  
Merle: Severus Snape!  
  
~Severus does nothing and the camera turns~  
  
Merle: Arthur Weasley!  
  
~Arthur smiles and the camera turns~  
  
Merle: Sirius Black!  
  
~The crowd gasps~  
  
Merle: He's innocent. ~shakes her head~  
  
~Sirius smiles, waves, and the camera turns~  
  
Merle: And Albus Dumbledore!  
  
~Albus smiles and the camera turns back to Merle~  
  
Merle: Now, I'm sure most of you are familiar with the game, but I'll have to explain anyway, because some people are idiots. (A/N: I'm REALLY sorry if you've never heard of WWtBAM, but I couldn't resist putting that in, please forgive me!)  
  
~Most of the audience laugh~  
  
Merle: All right then. In the game, picking contestants for the 'Hot Seat' is done by using a 'Fastest Finger Question.' The Fastest Finger Question is one question with four answers, and the contestants must use the panel thingy in front of them to put the four answers given in the correct answer. The one who has done it in the fastest time will have a chance to get into the Hot Seat and win one million Galleons.  
  
~Everyone cheers~  
  
Merle: You also have three lifelines, Ask the Audience, Phone A Complete Stranger (A/N: Ever been to Disney's California Adventures? You'd know.), and 50/50. In Ask the Audience, the audience will be polled to help you. In Phone A Complete Stranger, we have Mr. Ron Weasley out there in front of the building with a Muggle contraption called a cellular phone. He will find someone walking by and they might help you with the question. In 50/50, two of the wrong answers to the question out of four will be removed, leaving you to choose from two. Let's play Who Wants to Be A Millionaire!  
  
~Everyone cheers loudly again~  
  
Merle: All right, time for the Fastest Finger Question. The question is, 'In the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, what is the order of the school books on the book list for First Years?' Put these in the correct order: A) A Beginners' Guide to Transfiguration, B) A History of Magic, C) The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection, and D) One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi.  
  
~A few seconds pass~  
  
Merle: Time's up, and let's see them in the correct order: B) A History of Magic, A) A Beginners' Guide to Transfiguration, D) One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi, and C) The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection. Okay, let's see who got it right!  
  
~Camera shows a long list that I don't feel like making up~  
  
Merle: It appears that the first contestant is Minerva McGonagall!  
  
~McGonagall excitedly jumps out of her chair and into the Hot Seat~  
  
Merle: Wow, you're enthusiastic. Stay tuned, folks!  
  
~Commercial break a.k.a. end of Chapter 1~  
  
=-=…~*~…=-=  
  
Heh. How'd you like it? CHEER TIME! Gimme an R! Gimme an E! Gimme a V! Gimme an I! Gimme an E! Gimme a W! R-E-V-I-E-W! Review! See the purtee blue button down there? Click it, please. 


	2. McGonagall and Harry

Disclaimer: I dun own anything. Except Merle. She's mine. Actually, she's me.  
  
(A/N: I can't make the questions too easy in the first round because, well, I have no idea what to make easy.)  
  
(A/N 2: And, I'm not going to be putting too many questions in because, well, DarkMark.com isn't working. -_-;)  
  
Merle: Welcome back to Who Wants to Be A Millionaire. We're here with Ms. Minerva McGonagall, Transfiguration teacher at Hogwarts, and, apparently, one of my best friends.  
  
McGonagall: *blushes* I've never known that. Well, the best friend part, I mean. Anyhow, I'm ready to win.  
  
Merle: That's the spirit! All right, let's play Who Wants to Be A Millionaire!  
  
~funky music plays and the lights dim..a tiny bit~  
  
Merle: The first question, for 100 Galleons. What broom is considered to be the best around? Is it A) Nimbus 2001, B) Cleansweep Five, C) Firebolt, or D) Wooga-Booga?  
  
McGonagall: *chuckles* I believe it's C), Firebolt.  
  
Merle: That's correct!  
  
~the crowd claps~  
  
Merle: Question two, for 200 Galleons. What does the charm 'Wingardium Leviosa' do? A) Makes an object hover, B) Splits an object in half, C) Makes a person dance uncontrollably, or D) Instantly pull down someone's pants…er…?  
  
~the crowd bursts into laughter~  
  
McGonagall: There isn't even a spell that pulls someone's pants down…  
  
Merle: Well, according to the writers, answer D for questions 1-4 must be so obviously ridiculous and fake. It's supposed to make you laugh.  
  
McGonagall: Oh…*chuckles* in that case, A.  
  
Merle: That's right.  
  
~the crowd claps again~  
  
---two more questions are asked--- (A/N: Forgive me, it's sort of hard for me to make up these questions, and I need to save some for the other contestants…so, bear with me here.)  
  
Merle: Question five, for 1000 Galleons. Answer this question right and you'll walk away with 1000 no matter what. What is the name of the Wizarding school in the United States of America? Is it A) The Salem Witches' Institute, B) Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, C) Durmstrang, or D) BeauxBatons?  
  
McGonagall: I believe it's A.  
  
Merle: *pause* That's correct!  
  
---bunch of blah-ing and more questions asked---  
  
McGonagall: Um…I'm still not sure…  
  
Merle: You've used up all three lifelines, you can walk away with the 64,000 Galleons now and not lose them.  
  
McGonagall: I think I'll do that, thanks.  
  
~funky music plays and the lights come back on~  
  
~McGonagall steps out of the Hot Seat and sits back in the panel chair~ (A/N: Well…I think she deserves to watch in person *laughs*)  
  
Merle: Okay, time for the next Fastest Finger Question. *does the fastest finger question* (A/N: lmao, I'm not very creative today, am I?)  
  
~Harry wins the Fastest Finger Question and excitedly bounces out of his seat and stands next to Merle~  
  
Merle: We'll be right back!  
  
---Commercial break---  
  
Merle: All right. We're here with the…er…*famous* Harry Potter. Is there anything you'd like to say before you go for the million?  
  
Harry: Nope. *smiles*  
  
Merle: Okay then! Let's play Who Wants To Be A Millionaire!  
  
~funky music plays~  
  
---easy questions are asked, blah blah---  
  
Merle: All right, for 16,000 Galleons, What are the colors of Quidditch team, the 'Wimbourne Wasps'? Is it…A) Red and orange, B) Yellow and black, C) Blue and green, or D) White and Blue?  
  
Harry: Umm, I think I'll use a lifeline.  
  
Merle: Which one, then?  
  
Harry: Phone A Complete Stranger.  
  
Merle: All right. Dude who connects stuff (A/N: Lol, sorry, I forgot what they call him), put Ron on the line.  
  
~phone rings and Ron answers with a small voice~  
  
Merle: Hello? Ron?  
  
Ron: I can barely hear you! This thing is weird.  
  
Merle: I can barely hear you too…oh. *now shouting into the mic* RON, YOU NEED TO TURN THE CELLPHONE AROUND, YOU HAVE IT UPSIDE-DOWN.  
  
Ron: *turns it rightside-up* Oh. Now I can hear you. This fellular cellytone thing is cool!  
  
Merle: *chuckles* Just call it a cellphone. Harry needs help on a question, can you find someone out there for us?  
  
Ron: Sure! One sec. *pause* Okay, here.  
  
Girl: Hello?  
  
Merle: Hi, who is this?  
  
Girl: This is Eira.  
  
Merle: Well, Eira, we're here with Mr. Harry Potter at the Who Wants To Be A Millionaire studio and he needs help with a question. Will you be so kind as to help him?  
  
Eira: Sure! Fire away.  
  
Merle: Harry, I'm giving the line to you. Ask her the question, give the answers, you know what to do.  
  
Harry: Yup.  
  
~mic turns to Harry~  
  
Harry: What are the colors of the Quidditch team, the 'Wimbourne Wasps'? A) Red and orange, B) Yellow and black, C) Blue and green, or D) White and blue?  
  
Eira: Umm…it's…B, yellow and black.  
  
Harry: Thanks a lot!  
  
Eira: No problem.  
  
~Ron forgets how to turn the cellphone off and a voice is heard as he puts it in his pocket~  
  
"Hey, you're pretty…wanna go for a drink at The Three Broomsticks sometime?"  
  
Harry: *eyes go wide* That was Ron's voice…  
  
Merle: Um...well, that last part was—er—unexpected.  
  
Harry: You're telling me.  
  
Merle: Anyhow, let's get back to the game.  
  
Harry: Oh, yeah. I'll go with Eira. B, yellow and black.  
  
Merle: *pause* That's correct!  
  
~the crowd claps and cheers a little~  
  
Merle: We'll be right back.  
  
---Commercial break a.k.a. end of chapter 2---  
  
=-=…~*~…=-=  
  
Dun dun dun! Okay, you know what to do. Press the button. Go on. You know you want to. Flames will be sent to the squirrels in geppy's (a fellow author) hair so they can light things on fire. 


	3. Harry and Draco

Disclaimer: I dun own anything except Merle. The commercial is littered with numerous inside jokes from the Inside Joke portal inside my head. I'm only saying this about the commercials once: My friends and I are in the commercials, so I'll just use my friends' FF.net names if they have accounts. The others are by their real names, and I'm known as Merle.

(A/Ns: 1—Ditto to last chapter. 2—REALLY SORRY about the stupid gigantic delay…damn my laziness… 3—Reviews:

GazzandaSpazza—Oh…um…gee, I don't think you can read the fic anymore, huh?

Buffy Anne Summers Lives—SURE! I'll accept your help offer ^_^ my friend has already been appointed to help write some of it…but I'm sure there's room for more, eh? ^_~)

=-=…~*~…=-=

Merle: We're here with Mr. Harry Potter. Is there anything you'd like to say?

Harry: Yeah. I want a donut.

~the crowd laughs~

Merle: Erm…you can buy a lot of donuts with the money you're winning.

Harry: YAY!

Merle: Anyhow, let's get back to the game. 

~funky music plays and the lights dim~

Merle: For 32,000 Galleons. If you answer this question correctly, you're guaranteed to walk away with 32,000 Galleons. In the Ministry Of Magic, how many employees are there in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office? A) 3, B) 7, C) 4, or D) 2?

Harry: I should know this one…C, four.

Merle: *pauses* That's correct!

Harry: Yay!

Merle: For 64,000 Galleons. How many uses are there for dragon blood? (A/N: I know, easy question for some…) A) 4, B) 12, C) 14, or D) 7?

Harry: Um…*long pause* C…14…?

Merle: …Sorry, that was the wrong answer.

Harry: Awwwww, I wanted DONUTS!

Merle: You still get the 32,000 Galleons, you know.

Harry: Oh. Yay!

Merle: *giggles* Anyhow, let's take a look at the correct answer.

~answer B flashes~

Merle: You did well, though. Now go away. (A/N: Heh, one of my gymnastics instructors does that sometimes…)

Harry: *chuckles and goes back to his seat*

Merle: All right! Time for the next Fastest Finger Question. *asks the FFQ*

~Draco gets it right, he strides over to where Merle's standing~

Merle: Time for a commercial break, then back to the game!

~the crowd claps and cheers~

---Commercial break--- Commercial:

Krissy Ishida: HALLO! Welcome to the Poofy Meep Show!

Eira Chikaeru: Krissy, this isn't the Poofy Meep Show, it's a commercial.

Krissy: Oh. Okay. MEEP anyway…

Eira: ::hits Kevin with Sharky::

Kevin: Um…I don't know how much that is…5983732455?

Tamarushii Eva: No, more than that.

Merle: No it's less!

Eva: More!

Merle: Less!

Dan: ::comes out of nowhere:: HELP! KRISSY'S GOING TO MILK ME!

Krissy: Oh yeah! ::runs around trying to catch Dan::

Dan: Uh oh…::runs from Krissy::

Krissy: Come here! Eva!

Eva: ::squishes Dan with her squish mallet::

Merle: Go Eva!

Dan: Ow…

Eira: You know, we're out of time already…

Kevin: Aww.

Merle: See ya!

---End of commercial break---

Merle: Okay! Mr. Malfoy, how do you feel about getting into the Hot Seat?

Draco: I'm gonna win.

Merle: 'Atta boy. Let's play Who Wants To Be A Millionaire!

---easy questions are asked, do you know how hard it is to make these up because I have no idea what's easy and what's not and I think I should ask Buffy Anne Summers Lives to help me with questions and I think I'll do that and I'm just blabbering on, huh?---

Merle: For 64,000 Galleons. Which year did Albus Dumbledore defeat the Dark Wizard Grindelwald? A) 1953, B) 1945, C) 1935, or D) 1966?

Draco: Er…I'll use the Phone-A-Complete-Stranger lifeline.

Merle: Okey-dokey. Operator, put Ron Weasley on the line.

~BRING BRING~

Ron: AGAIN?

Merle: Ron, you signed up for this job…

Ron: Oh yeah. Okay, who needs help?

Merle: Draco Malfoy.

Ron: …You seriously expect me to find someone for him.

Merle: You signed up, you do the job. Deal with it.

Ron: Okay…one minute…

Merle: *shakes her head*

Girl on line: Hello?

Merle: Hello! May I ask who's speaking, please?

Girl: Krissy…Ron told me I should help with a question…?

Merle: Yes, we're here at the Who Wants To Be A Millionaire studio with Draco Malfoy and he needs help with a question.

Krissy: D-d-draco Malfoy?

Merle: …Yes.

Krissy: Can he hear me right now?

Merle: The entire studio can hear you right now.

Krissy: Okay. DRACO I LOVE YOU WILL YOU MARRY ME?!?!?!?!?!

Draco: …Is she going to help me with the question or not?

Merle: Um…Krissy, this isn't exactly the time.

Krissy: But but but…

Merle: Mr. Malfoy needs help with a question, after all.

Krissy: Oh! Okay!

Merle: He'll give you the question and the four possible answers. Ready?

Krissy: Yeah.

~mic switches to Draco~

Draco: Which year did Albus Dumbledore defeat the Dark Wizard Grindelwald? Is it A) 1953, B) 1945, C) 1935, or D) 1966?

Krissy: Um…I'm not 100% sure but I'm pretty sure it's B, 1945…

Draco: Thanks.

Krissy: OHMIGAH! HE THANKED ME! WOOOOOHOOO!!!

Draco: *now getting a little scared*

Merle: Operator, please hang up…

Krissy: Wha-? NO!!! DRACO!!!

Ron and Eira: *trying to grab the phone back from Krissy*

Operator guy: *hangs up*

Draco: She scares me…

Merle: Yes, she's rather scary…

Draco: Anyhow…I think I'll go with her, B) 1945.

Merle: *pauses* Correct!

Draco: *smirks*

Merle: For 125,000 Galleons! Who was the Wizard supposedly killed by ex-convict Sirius Black?—

Sirius: *shouts from his seat* HE'S NOT DEAD! HE'S STILL A—lllmph…

(Albus has just put his hand over Sirius' mouth)

Merle: *rolls eyes* Anyway, is it A) Remus Lupin—

Remus: *talks* Do I look dead to you?

Merle: You prat, what do you think "supposedly" means?

Remus: Oh. Continue, then…sorry.

Merle: …A) Remus Lupin, B) James Potter, C) Peter Pettigrew, or—

Sirius: MMPH! FMLLMPH!

Merle: …or D) Voldemort?

~part of the crowd gasps~

Draco: *smirks* C), Peter Pettigrew.

Merle: That's correct!

Draco: I told you I was going to win…

Merle: Oh not just yet, Draco. There's three questions left.

Draco: Damn. Oh well…

Merle: *chuckles* You've gotten pretty far, though. For 250,000 Galleons, What is the Muggle item used to play music? A) A radio, B) A refrigerator, C) A printer, or D) A box? (A/N: Okay so for some people this is REALLY, REALLY easy, but…)

Arthur: OO! *bounces in his seat*

Merle: *stares at Arthur with a look of concern*

Draco: o_O Erm…anyhow, it's A) A radio.

Merle: Correct-o!

Draco: *grinning like mad*

---Draco eventually walks away with the big 500,000 GALLEONS! Wooo!---

Merle: Okay, time for a commercial break, and then back to *outstretches an arm with one finger out* Who Wants To Be A Millionaire!

~the crowd claps and cheers~

(A/N: The commercial will be added into the next chapter ^_^)

=-=…~*~…=-=

Oh yeah. Review! Yay! Woohoo! Review! Okay see ya in the next chapter! -- Merle


End file.
